We give GOALS a bad name.
For example, I used to be afraid of goals. I’ve always loved setting them… but the process to achieving a goal can sometimes leave me burnt out and exhausted. I thought I had to chase after a goal and hustle my way there. When I don’t achieve my goal, I’d be very very hard on myself.
Can you relate to this?
This way of setting goals and achieving goals… need to stop. It’s simply not helpful at all.
Setting and achieving your goal can actually be fun, nourishing, and joyful.
Here are 3 tips to approach your goals differently:
1. Don’t chase after a goal for your self-worth
The reason why so many people are afraid of setting goals is because we make it mean something personally about ourselves when we don’t achieve a goal.
We think we have to achieve it or set a goal because that will make us somehow more “worthy” or “better” as a person.
But actually, you already are 100% worthy. And you just get to set a goal because you want to and because it’s fun. If it’s not fun for you, don’t set it. Seriously. Permission granted! You actually don’t have to set any goals!
Also… check in on your goals. Are they really your goals? Or are they goals that you believe other people/ the society expects you to have? If you create a goal out of obligation, you will not enjoy your process of achieving this goal. The path there will feel like a huge struggle.
2. Use your goal as a tool SERVING you (not the other way around)
Your goal serves as a direction, guide, and compass so you don’t get lost as you navigate through your every day. The goal inspires you, reminds you of who you want to be, and nourishes you along the journey. Your goal is a tool FOR you. You don’t have to “chase” after your goal. The image of that already feels so exhausting.
Also, a goal is not a ceiling or a benchmark. You can go way beyond your goal, or shortly below it. The process of achieving your goal offers progress and growth so you can become a different person as you work toward a goal. That’s why you set a goal, and that’s what you want to aim for.
3. Don’t use your goal as a reason to be mean to yourself. You decide who you are. Not your goals.
Setting a goal creates an energetic container that generates momentum and action-focused steps. A goal creates an arena for you to play in.
Being in this container will bring up any hidden drama and fears you already have to the surface for you to work through them. So anticipate drama (aka brain freaking out) when time’s running out.
Now you can work through these obstacles. That’s the whole point.
And here’s the thing. Even if you don’t achieve a goal within an arbitrary timeframe set by you… it doesn’t have to mean anything bad about you at all. Because you always decide who you are. Not your goals.
Do you believe you’re someone who always make the things you want happen? Because if you believe so deeply about yourself, you’ll be more likely to learn so much from not having “achieved a goal” and continue to work on it until you do (because again, that is who you believe you are.)⠀
Your goal is your friend and partner in crime on this journey.
Don’t use your goal against yourself.
Lastly, I want you to remember this: the journey to achieving any goal does NOT have to feel exhausting and tiring.
It can be filled with so much fun, joy, less-hustle, and love.
Give yourself the permission to create that.
Rooting for you,
Shir
P.S. Want to take this Goals Work deeper and integrate it into your life? Life coaching can create a safe and loving container for you to do just that.
I will coach you on your brain, your behaviors, and help you navigate through any difficult emotions along the way.
I help people become leaders in their life and achieve the goals they truly desire… in a joyful, fun, and loving way.
I offer one free discovery call, you can schedule here.This free call alone could be your first transformation yet.
Shirley Huang is a Certified Life Coach, Podcast Host, and online educator. She provides weekly resources to help people become leaders in their life, while loving themselves and having fun a long the way. Check out her Life Coaching Programs here.