Hey friend, let’s talk about expectations. Expectations from your parents, from your partner, from your boss, and from your peers.
If you’re a millennial in your 20’s – early 30’s, this is a phase where a lot of us are still navigating through life, trying to figure out what we want to do, and learning about what’s important to us.
Because we’re still discovering ourselves, when we receive expectations from others, it can be very likely for us to take on others’ expectations thinking that we have to meet up to that.
Here are some tips on how you can get out of that mindset.
How to Deal with Expectations:
1. IDENTIFY WHAT’S YOUR STUFF VS. OTHER PEOPLE’S STUFF
When people give you expectations, it is their stuff – not yours. The expectations others set for you come from their own thoughts, beliefs, past experiences, their values, how they’re taught growing up, what they’re familiar with… etc. You get the point. It has everything to do with them and nothing to do with you.
As a person on the receiving end of the expectation – you can choose to make it mean however you want. Because you’re always in control of your thoughts.
2. YOU CAN CHOOSE NOT TAKE TAKE ON OTHERS’ EXPECTATIONS IF YOU DON’T WANT TO
Decide if you want to value what this person has to say. You can choose to think about the expectation however you want. Now, this doesn’t mean there won’t be consequences. Because you are always responsible for your actions and what you do.
If your boss expects you to arrive on time and you are late, then your boss might be upset and you might lose your job. So you can decide to take on that expectation, and decide to be the reliable employee that your boss wants you to be.
Know that it is your choice. You always have the power, not others.
3. BE CURIOUS ABOUT WHY OTHERS HAVE THE EXPECTATION ABOUT YOU
When you feel that someone is dumping his/her expectation on you, instead of being defensive, what you can do is approach the situation with curiosity.
Why would the person expect this of you?
Most of the time, it’s almost always about the other person. But sometimes, it can also be because you’ve been acting a certain way and not communicating what you actually want.
If you never communicate to your partner that you want him/her to do the dishes, of course he/she is going to keep expecting you to do it.
4. CREATE DISTANCE AND FILTER OUT THE NOISE IF YOU NEED TO
Sometimes we can receive expectations from those around us who we love, and we don’t necessarily agree with how they want us to be. They can be your parents, your partner, or your close friends.
If your parents want you to pursue a certain career path, but you know that deep down, you are meant to do something else, you’ve got to create distance and filter out the noise.
Let other people be themselves. While you can choose to keep doing what you do. (I’m speaking from personal experience by the way, so I can totally understand!)
Because ultimately, this is your life.
You get to take ownership of it and make choices for yourself.
You get to take actions forward and start creating a life that you truly love.
Remember that you always have the power.
Rooting for you,
Related post:
How do you deal with expectations?
Shirley Huang is a Certified Life Coach, Podcast Host, and online educator. She provides weekly resources to help people become leaders in their life, while loving themselves and having fun a long the way. Check out her Life Coaching Programs here.