I get it. I’ve been there many times myself. It doesn’t matter what stage you are in your life. We all doubt ourselves when faced with tough situations sometimes.
We didn’t know if we could ever be accepted into our dream school, get the right job, find the perfect partner, lose weight, quit smoking, be smart enough, talented enough, pretty enough, successful enough. But these difficult moments are when we must believe in ourselves the most so we can take the leap of faith instead of playing small and be controlled by fear.
Here are 3 real truths on how to believe in yourself and start taking actions to change your life.
1. DECIDE TO BELIEVE IN YOURSELF
This may seem like a simple no-brainer tip, but it is the most powerful. Choosing to believe is a deliberate, conscious decision. You may not feel like you’re good enough yet to reach your goal.
But still, every day you must decide to believe anyways. Even when no one believes in you, that’s when you must believe in yourself the hardest because you need to believe for everyone.
It’s certainly not an easy task to do, but if you make this conscious choice and practice believing every day, I can guarantee you they will build up.
Quick way to start:
Start by really understanding yourself and get clear about your reasons for your goal. Try answering these questions.
What do you want to believe about yourself? Why do you want to believe that?
Example: I want to believe that I can be a great public speaker. I want to believe I can do it because communication is an important part of my life and I want to share my ideas and messages to more people.
How would life change for you if you do?
If I can speak in front of people with ease, I will feel more confident and happier with myself.
Write out one sentence affirmation of your belief.
I can communicate my ideas confidently in front of others.
Place your answers and affirmation as a reminder on your phone or write it out and paste onto your mirror so you can see them every day. I personally keep a notebook of all my affirmations and it’s become a ritual for me to read through them every morning and night. Remember, your thoughts are like muscles, they need to be practiced daily and can only be strengthened with time.
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2. LIVE AS IF YOU’RE ALREADY THE PERSON YOU BELIEVE YOURSELF TO BE
You attract what you seek to become.
When we raise our thoughts, beliefs, and actions to meet what we want and desire on the same level, we will become who we want to be naturally.
It’s similar to how if you are a negative person and you always complain and get irritated, then naturally every day you will only notice more negative things because you are thinking and behaving from a negative place.
Using the same example: If I want to believe I can be a great public speaker, I must think, behave, and live AS IF I’m ALREADY good at public speaking. What would I do as a confident, engaged communicator? I would attend more speaking events, I would join Toastmasters, speak up in class, volunteer to make presentations, ask for feedback about my speaking, read books about public speaking, listen to Ted Talk…etc. you get the point. And slowly, these actions will train me into believing that I can speak confidently in front of others.
Your thoughts shape your actions. But you can also use your actions to reinforce your thoughts.
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3. REDEFINE THE PHRASE “BE YOURSELF”
The phrase “fake it until you make it” is only partially true. I’ve heard people say they don’t want to “pretend” to believe they are someone they’re not, and it feels “fake.” They just want to be themselves and “be authentic.”
But what does it really mean to be yourself? If you are satisfied with where you are then by all means stay there. But if you’re not happy with your current state and you want to be better, then you got to grow and change to become a new person.
Being yourself is to be happy and satisfied with yourself.
It’s about finding enjoyment in your life and being confident in your abilities.
Being yourself is believing in your highest potential and choosing to BELIEVE that YOU CAN become a better version of yourself, doesn’t matter what stage you are at in life.
Sometimes you don’t know if you’ll actually accomplish your goal. But still, you just have to have faith and believe. And during that process of believing, perhaps you’ve become a better person than who you were. And perhaps, that’s all that really mattered.
Believe for the journey. Stay for the ride. You can do it, I’m rooting for you.
Also, download this journal prompt worksheet to understand yourself: